wherein january has flown by
(and now it's feb 1st)
How is it already the end of January? Time has been both long and dragging, and has suddenly sped up so much. And, truly, so much has happened while so little has in those small in-between moments.
I think I got in my head since the last letter, and feeling like I had to have this huge plan, and a very pointed topic. I don’t feel ready to speak on the Big Moments, and the Heavy Moments, as I’m still processing and learning and sitting with my emotions. Fully admitting here that I tend to avoid avoid avoid my emotions; I like to think them. This winter has been an especially poignant lesson in feeling my emotions, and letting myself actually cry when I feel it. But, I digress. I think I got in my head, when really, all I feel compelled to do is just share about what’s been going on.
I always start the year with the best intentions about journaling. I was never the type to write in a diary consistently growing up, and I’m pretty sure my mother cleared out a bunch of my old stuff through purges through various moves. A friend once told me that she still had her filled journals from high school. As cringe as it’d be, I do wish I had that. The chance to go back to my past self, and see how she was, and what she thought of in those exact moments. I can think of it now, but it’s just these fuzzy feelings, where I know the broad strokes, but none of the visceral details.
While I’ve tried my best to catalogue my life through photos, and journal snippets, I think this is the best start I’ve had to date. A friend showed me someone else’s tradition of writing a letter to their future self. I’ve done it on occasion, as a random exercise, but I never thought to do it as a regular thing as part of a new year reflection. Once I did, though, I felt so light and hopeful for this new year. I sort of mentioned this last letter, but my word for this year is forward. And, honestly, so far it has motivated me to actually take steps forward in some goals.
The thing about journaling is that it has to be very intentional for me. Even if I’m falling behind on morning pages, or if I have blank pages in my daily, I feel better knowing that I’ve written something down. If I backfill, I don’t mind as much. If I paste in some ephemera, I have a souvenir in my journal. I don’t stress out as much anymore about the blank pages. It just means I carve out the time in the morning, evening, or weekend, when I have a moment and put in some minutes of even a list of what I did that day. But, really, I’m not beating myself up over it. If it doesn’t get filled, it stays blank, and I move on. At the end of the day, it’s just paper. And what I’ll remember, I’ll just hope I keep remembering.
Feelings about love languages aside, I know that I love spending quality time with my friends and family over a good meal. I’m sure for many of us, food can be that connection with others, and even for oneself. I was going through all the photos I’ve taken of the dishes I’ve had, and even a bowl of instant ramen has brought me sustenance and joy this past month.
Let’s be clear, though: I will happily have a bowl of popcorn, or a plate of nachos, and couch rot while we watch a show together, or even through an internet connection. I just love it when I can hang with my friends, and having delicious food is made more delicious in the presence of good company, non?
I feel like I’ve spent so much more time out and about this past month (absolutely no complaints here), catching up with friends. We’re in the middle of the winter (and are we still in a polar vortex!?), and I will make the trek, because I miss you. I want to see you. I want to hear your voice, friends.
Forewarning: I will always try to keep reviews as spoiler-free as possible of major plot points. But, I cannot guarantee that I won’t slip up, and your threshold of spoilerage may not match mine. If I must, I will add a spoiler warning, and keep it to the end.
How I rate: on the various platforms, I don’t really rate anything that is less than a 4 or a 5. I have feelings on how certain sites are used, and I don’t rate anything unfairly. That said, there’s always nuance to a review, and I don’t know if I even believe in a number score for books as we all have different preferences. I’ll try my best to explain any numbers I give, but am always happy to discuss anything I’ve read.
Onyx Storm by Rebecca Yarros
⭐️⭐️⭐️¾
I finished the third book in the Empyrean series in just about a week. Not for any other reason than I had too many other things on my plate for me to dedicate all my extra time to reading. I also had to finish my bookclub book (which I did not), and I guess work and sleep. Not that that stopped me from staying up until 3am a couple of nights.
The story basically picked up right where the last one left off, but I swear to you, I don’t remember enough names other than Violet, Xaden, and the core group of friends and family. Who is Tragen? Am I supposed to remember who Panchek is? Wait, what is the timeline here? The prologue feels like a dream (not a literal dream in the story, but how it’s written). There were so many characters introduced in Iron Flame, that I really should have reread the previous two (but I didn’t because I just didn’t want to) to keep track of whose dragon was whose, and which were gryphon flyers, and is that even the right term?
I think one of my biggest gripes with this series is the editing and pacing. Each chapter ends then leads to the next, and it’s literally the next minute. How does time even pass here, because the way it’s split up, a day can be as many as five chapters long. Then other times, it can be so quick due to action scenes, and then jumping past some moments. I have to try and remember if that’s how it feels in real life, and is this how it felt when I was 21 years old? (Time. Not fighting venin, and being a dragon rider.) Also, I don’t know if I need every single detail and positioning of characters. Sometimes felt like blocking for screen, and that means too much direction in my brain for a quick moment.
Eunice, did you even like this book? YES! I did! I just love how this series is candy for me. I want to know what happens to Violet and Xaden. And every single one of the Iron Squad. We get to see the friendships in this book (RIDOC!!!!11) really solidify. Found family vibes. The relationship between Violet and Xaden feels very consuming like it can in one’s early twenties. The spicy scenes be spicy. The fights had me flipping the pages, and anticipating with the stress of it all. The world building feels like it’s enough for those who aren’t into high fantasy, and I don’t mind this part: I want to know more. GIVE US MORE, REBECCA!! We get more about Andarna, and oh my heart, I love her so much. And Tairn. The more I learn about Violet’s history and the gods of this world, and how everything starts tying into the venin, I want to know more.
Overall, it’s enjoyable for me as someone who loved the first one so much, and enjoyed the second, too. The pacing still feels off, and to be frank, Onyx Storm feels like filler. Or rather, build up leading to the final two books of the series. With the ending, we get a cliffhanger and, exsqueeze me!? We have to wait for the next book? How dare. I want to know right now.
Things I’m Into Lately
Currently watching Love Scout on Viki. If you’re open to a Kdrama, I just started and watched the first three episodes recently. Ji Yun is a badass CEO of a headhunting firm, with a new secretary, Eun Ho: a single dad with an HR background from a company she poached from. I just love the little moments, and seeing a woman portrayed this way instead of the standard Kdrama archetype of cutesy girlie.
Just finished the latest season of XO, Kitty and need the next season immediately, please. Yes, I’m clearly on a Korean show kick, but my heart is all squishy from the YA adorableness of this show, and all its too many plotlines thrown into too few episodes.
I’m trying to get into fantasy, again. I’m slowly making my way through Babel by R. F. Kuang as I’ve been compelled to annotate, and highlight directly in my physical copy. There’s so much world building in a way that makes me want to know more, and know everything about this magic.
I’m currently on week five of The Artist’s Way with my circle, and struggling. But, maybe I should be doing the Bare Minimum Artist’s Way instead?
I love the idea of writing a letter to my future self as a New Year refresh thing... I may have to do it for my birthday in a couple weeks!!
"If it doesn’t get filled, it stays blank, and I move on. At the end of the day, it’s just paper. And what I’ll remember, I’ll just hope I keep remembering." I love this so, SO much.