Sometimes I feel alone in the way I think about friendships, and my relationships to my friends. I know I'm not, but sometimes it feels this way. Maybe it's a sense of high expectations for how I wish friends would show up for me, as I hope I show up for them. The feelings sometimes that I put a lot of effort into friendships, and it's not always reciprocated. But, I also think it's just how one orients themselves in the world of interpersonal connections. I was chatting to a close friend the other day, and we were talking about how our family structure and how our parents modelled friendships really influenced how we approach it now. For them, their parents didn't have friends that they knew of (mostly due to geographic changes) and their immediate family was the focus. As a result, the priorities in life now: family, self, friends. For me, I grew up in a Korean Christian household and community—my parents were in church groups with parents similar to their age, and had kids similar in age to me and my brother. There were regular gatherings and parties, where the parents would have fun, and separately all the kids would have fun, fending for themselves. My mom was also always on the phone spending countless hours with her friends, gossiping and chatting, tying up the phone line preventing me from using the internet. My immediate family included my grandparents, but I was mostly a latchkey kid whose formative childhood years were spent growing up in a cul-de-sac with other similarly-aged children—we'd spend hours after school playing in the street, or going to each others' backyards. And, I feel that as a Korean Canadian growing up in a predominantly White suburb, I was always wanting to fit in amidst my peers at school. I love my family, and value them for their support and juggle our complicated relationships, but I think I've always struggled with being seen for me as an individual and my place in society outside of the family structure. I would say my priorities: self, friends, family (where self and friends are neck and neck). Maybe this means I take my family for granted. Maybe I just feel the importance of community, and the choice of who we let into our lives. Maybe I put myself first because sometimes I don't feel like I'm first for others.