it's been awhile

and I'm dipping my toe back in

Hello, hi, it’s me: your introspective friend with too many hobbies, and not enough time, Eunice.

I know it’s been awhile since I last wrote a Letter by Eunice, and I wanted to let you know that I’m here again. Things may be a tiny bit sporadic to start … but I’m committed to sharing again, and maybe exploring some topics in a new light, or focus on areas that I only glanced on before.

I will wholly admit that I took a break in 2024 because I was feeling this weird vulnerability hangover. It felt like I shared too much of myself, even when speaking in broad brushes of friendship, and relationships. Or, maybe they were specific. And then also the sense of self. It all just felt like too much.

Then, last year really became a roller coaster in June and I never felt I could put into words what was happening. Every time I sat down, even to write in my journal, I couldn’t. I felt blocked, and then also felt like I was doggy-paddling. I still don’t have the words for what my family dealt with when my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and quickly moved in with us, and then watching her deteriorate. I will share that last year was the worst birthday I’ve ever had, as she passed the day after, as I was rushing home from my part-time job. I sometimes envy those who have the words, maybe so soon after, but I still feel like I never have enough.

And, as devastating last year was, there were so many bright lights that I feel like they were on another plane of existence. When I reflected on the good of last year, truly the brightest points were my friendships. There has been a deepening with folks, and a reacquaintance with others, and just a better understanding with people I hold dear to me. Things have shifted, and things will always shift, but I feel like we grow, we understand, we may drift, but also we can always come back to each other.

She’s got two earrings. From Mr. Surprise in Markham.

Other things (a mix of goals and just updates):

• I’m still working in the same last job(s) I was working in the summer of 2023.

  • I’m actively looking for a new job back in People Ops/Ops again, and hoping for the shift back this year.

• My grandfather has moved in with us, and that is a constant adjustment.

• I stopped tracking what I read last year, but I think I’ll get back to it this year, as I don’t want to be re-reading the same book. Also, I’ve branched from romance!

• I haven’t learned to drive yet, and let’s make it happen this year!

• I’ve been journaling regularly, and back in my planner systems. Am I possibly overcorrecting and regaining control? Possible!

• I’m currently finishing up Week 2 of The Artist’s Way, and it’s challenging and great all at once.

I feel like I should be dumping every little thing that has happened in the past year, but I don’t think I can pin down the words. It’s like a gallery of Impressionist paintings, with Kandinsky pieces interjecting, with the melancholic Blue Period interspersed in the latter half.

Things to look forward to this year, is truly this feeling of “New Year, New Me!” that I don’t normally espouse at the start of the year. I want to move forward, as I’ve felt so stagnant. I feel ready, and want to achieve some goals. I’m manifesting, and vision boarding. And, personally, I feel hopeful. Despite (waving to the amorphous world life) all the things, I feel like I have control over some things again, and I hope to share more with y’all.

Also, I totally understand if you’re reading and ready to move on from my personal newsletter! I’ll fully admit that I’ll probably be a little hurt at first, but honestly, I won’t take offense. I fully support spending time on what you enjoy, and while I hope to share more enjoyable things and endeavours, you do you, boo.

Love always,
Eunice